In the hopes of making this blog more helpful for young people, I’ve made a suvey for people to take. It researches what kinds of questions you would ask an Agony Aunt, what kind of problems you have, who you turn to for help and advice, etc. Please take a minute to complete this quick survey, so that I can tailor my articles to your needs. Thank you!
I’m looking for people to share information about their native land, their culture, their language, their religious beliefs, and anything else that the typical white English person doesn’t understand. In the hopes of better understanding the lifestyles and opinions of people in different countries, I want to collect together all kinds of information.
If you are of a nationality other than English/American, please share your culture with us! I hope to be able to use your comments for a featured page about your nationality. Help us correct people’s biased opinions, and help eradicate racial prejudice. Thank you!
Why is racial prejudice so widespread?
Are people of other nationalities actually that different from us? How should we view them?
From medical advancements, to the widespread acceptance of alternative lifestyles, humanity is coming along in leaps and bounds. We use technology in our daily lives that would have been considered unbelievable fifty years ago. So why is it that most people still harbour such old-fashioned resentment towards people of other nationalities? As a caucasian person in a very “whites only” city, I have seen too much racism and inequality. In my home town, black people are considered second-class, Middle-eastern people are suspected as terrorists, European people are blamed for economic problems, oriental people are assumed to be simple-minded. It’s a disgusting attitude, and I for one am ashamed to be associated with such narrow-minded bigots.
“Human”. It is a species. But sometimes is seems that the world thinks a different colour skin means a different species altogether. “Canine” (dog) is a different species, a lower form of life. Within the Canine species there are many different breeds. A German Shepherd might be bigger and darker than a Chihuahua, but they are both dogs. Think of the different sizes, colours, weights, shapes, hair-length of all the different breeds of dog. They all come from the same species, they all have the same basic genetic structure, they all bark.
We are all Human beings.
It is a very simple premise that, for some reason, this illustrious modern civilisation just cannot seem to grasp. Just because a person speaks with an accent in YOUR language, it doesn’t mean they are simple or uneducated. If you tried to speak in THEIR language, chances are you would sound just as strange. Just because a family have different cultural habits that perhaps you don’t understand, it doesn’t mean those habits are foolish. It’s just that you don’t understand them (which, actually, is YOUR lack of knowledge and insight). Just because someone follows a religion that you do not believe in, it doesn’t mean their religion is necessarily wrong. What proof do you have that YOUR religion is right?
Really, a person who shows racial prejudice shows that they are simple and narrow-minded.
There is only one thing worse than outright racism: racism in denial. The kind of people who complain about songs like “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, claiming it is an attack against black people. TV series directors who are terrified about making the “bad guy” someone from an ethnic minority. Corporations that rush to hire people from ethnic minorities, whether they are more capable to do the job or not, just to be able to say: “See? We don’t discriminate.”
Why can’t everyone just FORGET that we have different coloured skin? Why can’t we FORGET about the wars, and the past disagreements between nationalities? Treat everyone the same! Don’t panic about giving special treatment to people of a different nationality just so that you won’t look like a racist. Just treat them in the same way you treat everyone else! That is true equality!
We are all Human. Act like it.
Should I give up my virginity?
Do you find yourself under pressure to have sex at a young age? Should you be in a hurry to lose your virginity?
People lose their virginity at many different ages. Some are as young as 12 when they have sex for the first time, while others are in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, or never have sex at all. There is no “normal”, and there is no “weird”. But it is a very important decision that we all have to make at one time in our lives: should I give up my virginity now?
Perhaps your friends are all having sex. Perhaps you are the only virgin left in your class at school. Is that something to be ashamed of? Isn’t it better to be a virgin than an easy lay? Are you even ready for sex? Take a look at these examples, each a different kind of person with a different kind of attitude towards sex, as well as different consequences:
1) A young girl who rushed into her first time with the first boy who came along. She barely knew him. After their sexual encounter, the boy tells all his friends all the details. It gets spread all around the school, and the girl is humiliated. She meets another boy who seems to care about her – he seems different to the first boy. Trying to gain some kind of affection and warmth, she sleeps with him, too. Afterwards, he doesn’t want to see her anymore. Now the word spreads that this girl is very easy to get into bed. She is looked down on by the girls and mocked by the boys. No one respects her, and she feels like she can never trust another guy. She is left feeling cheap, betrayed, and regretful.
2) A young boy who gets a pretty girlfriend and is eager to have sex for the first time. His friends have been raving about how amazing sex is, the magazines and websites he’s been viewing have given him all kinds of wild expectations. He finally gets to the point where his girlfriend is ready to take the plunge. They have sex. Instead of being an incredible experience that fulfills all his desires, it turns out to be very uncomfortable. Being so young, he is not a very skilled lover, and his performance is poor and doesn’t last long. He fails to please his young girlfriend, and she leaves feeling disappointed and cheap. She begins to spread the word about his pathetic performance, as well as the miniscule size of his still-developing organs. The boy feels humiliated and completely unsatisfied. He develops very low self-esteem and is reluctant to try another relationship for a long time.
3) A teenage couple are deeply in love and give each other their virginity. Their sexual experience is wonderful, and they feel great afterwards. Everything is fine, they’re glad they did it, and they stay together. However, the girl soon learns she is pregnant. She faces some painfully hard decisions: whether to keep the baby or to abort it, whether or not to tell her parents, whether or not to tell her boyfriend. She is far too young to raise a child, but she hates the idea of killing her own child. She thinks her parents would throw her out if she told them, but she doesn’t want to face the decision alone. She worries whether or not her boyfriend will be willing to take on the responsibility of fatherhood, being so young. This story cannot end happily.
Do you want to follow any of those examples? Do you want to become the girl who was called terrible names all through her school life because she gave herself to boys too easily? If you are a boy, do you want to rush your sexuality and risk a disappointing and embarassing first time? Do you want to have to make the decisions that the third girl had to make?
My advice is, don’t be in a rush to lose your virginity. Allow yourself to fully develop, experience the other wonderful things in life, and look forward to a meaningful first sexual experience. Make sure that when you do have sex, it is with someone who truly loves you and is going to be there for you beyond that one night. Sleeping around isn’t cool, isn’t mature, and it isn’t worth it.
You will have more satisfaction, self-respect, and joy if you save your virginity for your future soul-mate.
Could my boyfriend become abusive?
Are you concerned that the guy you’re dating could become violent towards you? Or do you believe he would never hurt you?
Answer these questions about your boyfriend (or the guy you’re interested in starting a relationship with), and then count up how many YES answers you had:
If you answered YES to more than 4 of these questions, then you should be concerned. You might be in danger. If you think your partner could never become violent towards you, beware of the first steps to domestic abuse:
He starts to attack you verbally, call you names, or run you down. Then he starts to threaten violence when he gets angry. The first time he hits you, he will be very sorry and likely beg your forgiveness. He will probably cry and say he will never do it again. When you forgive him and think it’s all in the past, he will do it again. It’s a chain of events that doesn’t end.
So before the chain begins, before the one you love turns into the one you fear, think about the questions carefully and decided whether or not your partner could become abusive. If you answer YES to all seven of the questions, please break up with that person immediately. Chances are, he might someday kill you.
My dream is impossible…
Do you have something you want in life that you just cannot seem to attain? Do you want it more than anything?
What obstacles are stopping you? Often the most difficult hurdles to overcome as we try to reach our dreams are: lack of money, low self-esteem, no support from other people, fears, doubts, lack of ability or talent in a certain area. Is there something standing in your way?
Really, a person’s ultimate dream is something that cannot be achieved immediately. Usually it is a lifelong aspiration. For example, if you’re dreaming of starting a family, there are steps that lead to it. You first need a partner who wants to start a family with you. That opens up all sorts of questions, like: ‘When will I meet this person?’, ‘How will I know who is right for me?’, and ‘Am I ready to start a family?’
You need to take it one step at a time. Before you reach your dream, you must take many steps. Perhaps this guide will help you to map out your path:
What is my ultimate dream?
Start by writing down your ideal future, the thing you most want in life, the one thing that would bring you the most happiness.
Why do I want it so much?
Think about your motives, the reasons why this dream is so special. You need to know exactly how important it is in your heart, and then you will have a more focused drive to reach it.
How long is it going to take?
Be realistic. Think about the time you will need to reach your dream. Include any preparation time, such as necessary education, savings, etc. Give yourself a deadline, so that you will have a date to concentrate on as you work towards it.
What will I need?
If your dream is to attain a specific career, you will need to consider which qualifications you will need. If you wish to start a family, you will need a partner who shares your dream, a steady income, a big enough house, good health, and enough knowledge about parenting. If you want to complete something of your own, like a novel or a work of art, you should list the materials and expenses involved.
What kind of obstacles do I face?
What is stopping you from reaching your dream right now? Perhaps you haven’t got enough money, or you don’t believe you are capable enough. Work on those obstacles. Set up a savings account. Ask a friend’s opinion to find out if you’re selling yourself short. Practice, if you need to. Keep it up, whatever you need to do in order to break down those obstacles! Don’t tire out and give up halfway through.
What little steps do I need to take?
Set reachable goals, so you can tick them off one by one. Make it like stepping stones leading to your ultimate goal. Every time you reach one of your little goals, move on to a slightly bigger one. Make them simple, and very specific, like: “Before May 2010, save up $500″. Or, “Have one chapter of my novel finished by next month”.
Who would be the best person to help me?
Think about your friends and family. Which person (or people) would be the most supportive and encouraging to you as you aim for your dream? Is there someone with whom you could share your goals and dreams, and who would be a positive influence? Choose someone who would respect your wishes, understand your dream, and help you to do what you need to do. Success is much more likely if you have someone backing you.
The people who never reach their dreams are the people who stop trying. Never let that be you. Do everything you can to fulfill your dreams, but make sure you never let it make you selfish. Other people have dreams, too. So don’t destroy theirs in an effort to reach your own.
I wish you all the best in your efforts. I hope you reach your dreams.
I hate myself!
Do you sometimes feel useless, like you can’t do anything right? Do you look in the mirror and feel disappointed every day?
Maybe your expectations of yourself are too high. NO ONE IS PERFECT, and no one expects you to be. Even the smartest people have things they don’t understand, even the most beautiful people have things they hate about their body, even the most outgoing people have worries about social situations, even the most talented people have things they are useless at, even the most popular people have people who dislike them.
But what if there are some things you can change about yourself? Make two lists: 1) I hate but I can change, 2) I hate and can’t change. Write down all the things about yourself that you dislike and sort them into those categories. The things you CAN change, work on them. If you’re bad at something, practice. If you lack a personality trait, learn how to gain it. And then the list of things you CAN’T change, tear it up and forget all about them!
There’s one more list to make: 3) Things I like about myself. That one should be the longest one of all.
Why can’t I be good-looking?
Do you envy celebrities’ perfect figures, hair and complexion? Do you despair over the looks you were born with? Do you think you’re ugly?
Maybe you’re being too harsh on yourself. Are you comparing yourself with models and celebrities? You would be shocked to see those people before the professional shots. On magazine covers and catalogues, the women are digitally ’slimmed’, have their waist sucked in, their breasts expanded, their skin glazed over like a coat of glossy paint, and tons of other enhancements – all by graphics experts who make a living out of fooling people. No one can compete with those photos – not even the celebrities themselves! For example, this picture shows the difference between the editted, glossy magazine photos and the REAL woman in a normal photo:
For more examples, see this blog
If you’re unhappy with your weight, you could try a healthier lifestyle (NOT starving yourself), with exercise and good food. If you’re unhappy with your hair or fashion, get advice on how to style it. Try some moderate make-up (don’t go overboard). If there are features you can’t change, accept them. For every person in the world there are people who would consider them attractive – we all have different tastes and views of beauty. So you are beautiful – believe it!
Should I just end my life?
If you are contemplating suicide, or wondering if you’d be better off dead, please read this:
Think back to a few years ago. What was your life like then? Think of how much it has changed, all the different experiences you’ve had, all the people you’ve met, all the good and bad times you’ve been through. You can see from your own past that LIFE CHANGES. It’s always changing. No year is ever the same as the year before.
You might think that you’re lost in a dark tunnel with no way out. You might think every day is the same as the last, and there will never be light up ahead. All you have to do is keep going. If you stop, if you give up, you will never see the light again, and you’ll miss out on the beautiful and joyful things that life has to offer. So long as you are still struggling, you are winning. Your struggles are not in vain, because you’ll eventually step out of the black tunnel and into the light.
Pain never lasts forever. Just bear it until it passes, and then you’ll be glad you did. Please don’t give up.
